Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
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