it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
