Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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