haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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