i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
