she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
