Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I promise you 4 toothbrushes taped together and lube does not do the trick
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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