Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
