you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
