He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
