oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
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