talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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