At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
only you would photoshop your dick
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
