Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Randomize
