Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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