so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize