So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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