I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
