i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
