I'm lost and stupid without you.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
