Porn is love you can see.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
What changed your mind?
Being sober
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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