I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Randomize
