He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
