I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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