she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'm pretty sure you called me last night and screamed that she was force-feeding you a bagel.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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