I don't think brook has ever known best
my fingers and penis are no longer on speaking terms. My penis is too jealous of where my fingers get to go.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Sorry about my life...
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize