sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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