Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
porn star boner night. come get it.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Randomize
