haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize