He is an equal opportunity slut.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
