Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
