dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
We have started to decorate penises.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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