I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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