im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Randomize
