God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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