Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
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