tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
only if we run a train.
done.
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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