She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
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