he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Randomize
