addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
