that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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