Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
