I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
