nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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