I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
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