I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
