Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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