I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
