I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
