I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
