ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Randomize
