go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
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