my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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