Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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