i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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