She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
