But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize