I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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