do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
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