So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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