return my video game
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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