i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Randomize
