Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize