There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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