ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
