I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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