Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Randomize
