Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize