Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
3pm strippers are depressing
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
