oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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